Stars

2010
02.05

Back in Japan, I used to follow a star as I bike my way home. I used to have the same wish every night. Same star, same wish. I think about my future.. And what I wanna be.

Currently I don’t know what really makes me happy.. or what would make me happy. Weird as it may sound, my work.. not exactly all of it, but what I am doing makes me happy and somehow gives me the reasons to continue the journey.

I’m heartbroken but I don’t seem to feel the pain. I’m broke but I don’t seem to care… Or maybe it’s the other way around. I want to figure out.

Riddles.

:)

2010
02.02

I just started my marathon (sort-of) with Glee!

Happiness ito! :)

Skinny Baby

2010
02.01

One fine day, my lunch group in the office thought about wearing the same clothes (different colors, same design)… just for fun. I did have fun. :cool:

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Beach

2010
01.24

All this time, I never realized that what I really needed was a weekend getaway…

Here’s what I did, I went to the beach with my former teammates (I’m the only one left in the company now). How I have missed these guys…

Photoshoots by the rocks, then party by the bonfire :D

Before we got wet (I hate my hair!), and then after all of it.. back at Macapagal (front of it), where it all started :)

I got paparazzi photos… which I like! :cool:

And the mandatory jump shot… ;)

I know what you’re thinking… ;) Where are the bikini photos.. hahaha. I’m still bullying the photographer to give them to me. :lol:

I suddenly missed my Guitar

2010
01.21

I think it was mid last year when I decided to grow my nails (coz of that new addiction called nail polish). Hence my guitar, Mrs Sepia, spent her days in the closet for the last 6 months. So sad.

You see, I still feel that I’m a beginner when it comes to guitar-playing. It’s a big hobby. I play the guitar when I felt playing, or when I feel like making a video of myself (since I’m narcisstic as always, or plainly a show-off to my friends :cool: ). But I didn’t really get to practice.

Anyway, here are the last stretch of videos I made. I failed to upload these before. Good thing I have backups. I had more in my other site in me.com. Unfortunately, I didn’t renew there hence I could not access my videos. I should have used youtube. :(

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Again

2010
01.17

And I can’t party right, the mood is not there because I’m zero (as in literally) for the next 15 days. If I say no a hundred times it wouldn’t matter. I would still remain a party pooper, not cool. Well, I could get over it, but I wouldn’t be able to move on by the fact that friends would hate me for not coming to a once in a lifetime thrill (as they say). It’s exaggerated you know. Everybody knows I’m outgoing, but one day, I wouldn’t be anymore, despite the fact that I’m always dying to go all the time. Because I won’t have the money.

I really don’t like it when somebody would pay for me, call it pride. I don’t like to be pa-special either. So I still go despite the lack of resources. However, I heard my mom told me once, that it’s bad. I’m a girl and I should learn submission sometimes.

Last night I said no because I have a lot of issues, but the friend said, f*** them all, just party the night away. And I did, I gave in, and submitted…

Now another week of crying for money…

Frustrations

2010
01.15

Many times. And it wasn’t new. I’ve been through it a lot of times before and I kinda got used to it.

Since I came back, I find myself frustrated everyday. And I often find all kinds of reasons to hate the world. It’s bad. And it’s making me ugly too. Maybe that’s the reason why I had always wanted to stay outta here (take my back there). Out there.. where despite the constant outpouring of sadness and emotions, I still feel free, and I enjoy. Sorry if I talk in riddles too much… it’s obvious anyway.

I will be around for quite a while. So I need to do something to keep my sad issues as far away as possible. I tried to begin exploring how not to remain mad and frustrated the whole day. I try to discover the “little things”, which I find amusing, and which will keep me entertained the whole day.. to help me forget for a while.

Sometimes, when all of it drops like a bomb.. I close my eyes, turn the volume up, and imagine me rocking with my dream guitar in a concert.. where I’m the star. ;)

One time, after a melodramatic exit from a melodramatic encounter, I sat beside this cute stranger in the bus (it’s a hated part-of-the-bus by the way). I sat there in that particular moment nonetheless. So the whole bus ride, I can cry in class :D Coz there’s a cute guy beside me, and the thought of it comforts me enough. ;)

Or, I listen to Chris Brown’s Forever. Yeah yeah he’s bad but I love his song. Even before the JK wedding fame. I like this part:

It’s a long way down,
We’re so high off the ground,
Sending for an angel to bring me your heart
Girl, where did you come from?
Got me so undone,
Gazing in your eyes got me singing what a beautiful lady
No “if”s, “and”s or “maybe”s
I’m releasing my heart and it’s feeling amazing
There’s no one else that matters
you love me and I won’t let you fall girl

And the video too..

Then smile it all away…

The Lost Diaries

2010
01.09

If you have been an avid follower of my life, you would probably know by now that I am the type who loves to write. And yes, diaries are part of my younger years. I kept about 5 books already.. mostly high school stuffs and shallow topics about friends and boys (of course ;) ).

Even if my regular chronicling have been replaced by blogger, i.ph, dotmac, and now wordpress, I still kept those diaries in my drawers. I have no intentions of reading them again and go over my juvenile dwamahs but the thought of just having those memories feels nice. Hehe.

Until one day, big brother decided to throw them all away!

Well, it was all nice and sweet, actually. He did the cleaning of my room. It was a big favor to me because I really wanted to clean my room by throwing everything away. But, of course, if I were the one cleaning, I would preserve my diaries, and doll houses (thank god I managed to get them back), and my 9 year old collection of cosmopolitan + other magazines. I’m that sentimental ain’t I?

Anyway, I was apprehensive at first to ask where the diaries were… After a few days of searching inside house drawers in vain, I decided to ask big brother directly, to confirm if he really threw them all… He told me that yeah, he sold them, along with my other things to the magbobote (some fellow buying old newspapers and old stuffs and uses them for a living)… I was dismayed with what I heard.

Big Brother asked me (with sarcasm), “Why, are you still planning to read them?” I answered no… I was actually keen on throwing them all, but not sell them. If I were to choose, I would have destroyed them by burning rather than give them to some fellow who might use them against me. Hahaha I’m too paranoid eh, I feel that I would be famous someday… ;) and my long lost diaries would cost a lot if they find their way to the wrong hands! Omg… my juvenile secrets… along with my childhood fantasies… all of them in the open…

I hope kuya magbobote would burn them all.

The First Week

2010
01.07

They say that we should start the year right…

Partied all night on the new year with mah girls and my brother…

New Year’s Eve party at home… and another party with my super friends from my friendly neighborhood.

It all looks like I have the perfect social life. But don’t be fooled.

I couldn’t believe that these all happened in one week… I feel that I spent 2 weeks in the office already. It seems that I have been enjoying going home at 12+ AM everyday. And I am still sick. Been coughing out loud in the office and it is starting to irritate me seriously (maybe the mates too). But in the morning, I still felt proud because I could manage waking up early and going to the office (Irony of life: I always hated the morning shift. But I am still in it.).

One night I was pressured by the friends to meet them for a little chat and drink (see above). I still came in spite of the super late hours at work. I had to say that Red Horse tasted so goood that time. It tasted like Sweet Juice. :D My discovery for the week: Beer is my current ultimate stress reliever. Maybe I need to bring some to the office.

I’m Baack!

2010
01.02

Almost..

Well.. I just upgraded to Wordpress 2.9. I did stumble on a lot of problems, it’s still messy as you may notice..

And I installed a new theme, but since my messy upgrade is too obvious, I could not activate the new theme yet… Hopefully, I will have time to fix things up.

UPDATE: New theme successfully installed! *hopefully*

Happy New Year again!! :D


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