pinakamaganda

there i’ve said it. my hair is so so straight. but this time, it has colors! yeah for the first time, i dyed my hair. it’s not that obvious on the first look. coz that’s the way that i want. this time this is really a new look.

today i just chilled out in the house. watched as many shows as i want and then went to mass in the afternoon. when i entered the church, i felt something weird. parang sobrang masaya ang feeling. dati, before i enter the church, i look very much like a spinster. i never smile, very serious. but a while ago, it was very different. i felt so light. i felt so welcome.

so due to the very happy feeling, i could not help myself but sing. i asked someone that i know in the choir at that time if i can join as an alto. i had been a choir member all my life until i went to college and then work eventually. i was in a children’s choir in elementary, and then an elite choir member in high school. elite – it was the best choir that time, all are musically inclined and everyone’s really amazing when it comes to blending and all. i was their baby actually – age-wise and skill-wise (hehehe). we had songs that are original. our musical director was very good. he makes those original songs. in the philippine’s music industry, he made this popular babaeng-bakla song – “babae po ako” by tuesday vargas (yung “hindi ako bakla – kla kla kla kla…”). that elite choir was really something that i learned so much from it. but year 2000 marked the end of my choir career since i failed to attend practices anymore. i always longed for the elite choir where i belonged before. but it won’t be back anymore (it was disbanded years ago).

i joined this current available choir coz i felt that i wanted to sing again. i want to go back to God. i want to make bawi. to do service again.

pero shempre iba na. i think the level of commitment that i can offer is very limited compared in the past. but i can still try.

my former phone, 6610 has been my phone for years. and now, it was totally gone.

before i refused to delete messages because i was thinking that i could use these forwarded messages someday. and since that phone is a little primitive compared to the latest trends now, there no way to store the messages and other data to my pc. that’s why my phone keeps on becoming full.

now, because of the crashing experience, it was all deleted. everything stored in the phone memory was gone. all of it.

and before i always refuse to change my phone (except for the fujitsu corporate plan unstoppable impulse). my mom would always tell me to replace it. but i just refused to do so.

if we’re afraid to let go of something, i guess something comes up to make us face our fears. parang ang layo, but i just feel that the idea is somehow connected.

friends… though i am stil using the same number. please send me your contacts ok! thanks!!!

(the speed dating chronicles)

I got a total of 5 matches. Not bad. Of the 11 guys that I most favour of, only 3 guys liked me in return. The 2 guys that are included in the 5 matches aren’t remembered as of the moment. As what I have said, it became confusing with the numbering in the end. The sad part is that, the 3 favourable guys must have been confused as well.

Now what’s next. I got their numbers and emails now. Should I wait or should I go go go? You see, I easily get tired of waiting. But this time. I’m waiting. Never made a move. Not yet.

And I’m wondering. What would happen to me now? Remember my last “karir”? the current and recent (haha redundant) karir. I liked him so much. We texted but I waited. Waited for him to do the moves, to do the texting first. Up to now, nothing’s happening. I have waited until the feelings just died and the longing for even just a single text is not anymore welcome.

and then i will just stare in the skies and think that there’s a special reason behind everything. that’s why waiting is still an option.

(the speed dating chronicles)

“Speed dating gives hope to the hopeless… and opportunities to the needy!”
-chaka bells

As my lovelife gets boring, hp stepped up and played cupid to the single sad girlas who love spontaneity and adventure.

Armed with my new makeup and indispensable excitement, I headed to greenhills with an hp guy friend mitch and another fabulous friend rica, who on the contrary, was unfortunately unarmed with the same excitement and courage.

as we enter club Filipino, mitch introduced us to his cute guy friend who was fortunately joining the speed dating, but sad to say, was flanked with a pretty girl (whom instantly I thought as a competition). Ok fine, when I saw this girl, my confidence level dropped down to zero.

As we entered the room, my confidence level again dropped to negative. I suddenly felt so ugly. But what the hell, I was there to have fun so I stopped thinking that ugly thing for the whole duration of the evening since it might just ruin the fun.

It was time. Girls were now signaled to be on their respective numbered places. So there, my place was in a high table with no chair. I thought damn, I would be in a standing position for the whole time! Although I would love to do it (no greenness intended, it’s just that I thought it would be more comfortable if we’re talking on standing position), but I was wearing my high heeled boots that time and it would definitely ruin my already damaged legs.

Here’s the summary and some notes maybe,

1. I was really overwhelmed by the many gorgeous men (I think I favored about 60% of the guys in my cue cards). How sad, on my previous posts, I was complaining about men shortage. But in this event, damn, I guess, I had a lot to choose from.

2. its always physical. To me it’s already a yes when I saw the next guy approaching and I found him cute. tsk tsk tsk!

3. I forgot their names! Of the many guys that I favor of, I forgot the names. it would definitely help if I had an extra paper for the notes, or just probably writing the names on the side of my card. In the first half of the dates, I remember the names, but as someone cuter comes along, I then began to forget the previous cute one.

4. the guys that I like aren’t old. Their ages range from 23-27.

5. it was really tiring. You’ll feel haggard near the end since you really should be spontaneous so the guys wouldn’t feel that you’re a boring and lousy talker. drinking water definitely helped.

6. so here are the people behind my “yes”:

a. guitarist guy#1 – he told me he was one of the band who were playing just before the event started. So my eyes twinkled! Finally, a different conversation topic. He taught me how to do the “plucking” thing in the guitar. I tried them out here at home but I still suck.
b. guitarist guy#2 – another twinkled eyes. I just love musicians. He and guitarist#1 are “band”mates and officemates, from hp… didn’t bother to ask their age. I just know that they’re older.
c. Ateneo guy – there are a lot of atenistas there but this one stands out since he’s the cutest. But I forgot his name. a former azeus guy who now works at hp.
d. the lawyer guy – his barong told me that he obviously came from the office. He’s also an hp guy, a project manager actually. But taking up law as sideline. Now he’s talking. Thanks to mitch and rica, they reminded me his name. how could I ever forget that name.
e. Buena mano guy – my first date. He was tall and cute, parang bad boy.
f. chinito guy#1 – cute smart Chinese guy.
g. chinito guy#2 – cute smart Chinese guy who brought me to a new place where I could sit.
h. chinito guy#3 – cute tall smart Chinese guy.
i. hp friend#1 – now I proved that physical attraction really works first
j. hp friend#2 – now I proved that physical attraction really works first (second the motion)
k. hp friend guy with black jacket – he’s cute and looks smart.

At the last parts, I could recall that I was still having vacancies. I think the guys and the numbers began to get confused since some left earlier and did not even bother to tell the organizers. While the 5 minutes was running and I was left with no partner (because the guy who was supposed to be my date for that time was busy looking for me), at the dimmed lights, I began to think…damn… I thought I was sure with this date(s). That I wouldn’t miss out someone or someone wouldn’t ever miss me… but well, even there, I was left vacant for some time, and alone, just staring at the candles and discreetly listening to the conversations of the couples near me.

I was having fears that most of the guys would probably say no to me. See, my confidence really dropped. But I think I was still carried away with the talking so I hope my personality impressed them. The results will be released on Monday via email. Damn it. Now it gets really scary to me.

But over-all, it’s just for plain fun. no “heart” feelings.

I am not a writer. It was carrie bradshaw who somehow inspired me to write. I love sex and the city. but I never write here about sex, though I can. Hahaha. If only FHM knew… anyway, basically almost everything’s about my life. So forgive me if it gets boring sometimes.

Back in my child hood days, I could come up with a nice story about love… maybe… I play the story using my Barbie dolls. Hehehe. Ang galing, as in with conversations pa. I play the story with my childhood friends, also with their respective Barbie dolls. Hehehe. It’s nice to reminisce about that.

When I was in elementary, I joined an abs-cbn scriptwriting contest. I wrote a 100+ page of some kinda movie or teleserye I think. But obviously, it was dumped. When I read it again, I laughed. Though there were some kissing parts, it was too wholesome… and not a very very strong one, not a single impact. Maybe they thought about that. That’s why the story’s rejected.
Now if I have the time, I guess I can be a script writer. Hmmm. Too many dreams… too many frustrations. take it one by one, step by step. I still have plenty of time.